Category Archives: Video Games

I still wish I had a NES

30 Tuesday Mar 2010

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So I’ve been playing a few platform games recently. Nothing major, Canabalt and Doodle Jump for the iPod, Robot Uniorn Attack and Spelunky on the PC.

All of these, very fun. No arguement there.

I have also been playing Super Mario Bros on the Virtual Console.

This is important as the first four are all randomly generated games, so every time you play the level is different. This isn’t a bad thing, it helps build the tension as you never know what is coming next.

It also made me a little sad as there is nothing like playing a well designed 16bit platform game. Doodle Jump, for some reason, really brought to mind an old Amiga game by the name of Rick Dangerous. This was a flick screen game that was a real test of memory and reflexes.

The problem with the randomly generated games is that you sometimes feels beyond your control when you fail, it’s too easy to blame the computer. There’s nothing like that in Mario Bros, if you missed that jump it was your own damn fault.

Both types of games have their merits. I think the moral I’ve got out of this is Mario is still the best, even if you have The Eurythmics as your soundtrack.

Sega All Star Racing or Why Sega Hates Their Fans

21 Sunday Mar 2010

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So I’ve been a Sega fan for, excuse the pun, ages. Nintendo never quite held the mainstream in the UK like it did in the US. The NES couldn’t compare to a Spectrum with a tape loader set to the correct volume.

The Master System was actually a viable console, kind of. Alex Kidd didn’t quite enrapture us in quite the same way Mario did, if we’re honest. But we still supported it, we still gave Sega our money.

Then the Mega Drive landed. It was black, lean and mean. It looked like it should be part of an awesome home stereo setup. And with a blue flash Sonic arrived.

You could argue that Sega was at it’s peak between Sonic 1 and 3. These were the halcyon days of my childhood. Desert Strike, EA Hockey, Earthworm Jim…the list goes on.

I was always a Sega fan. Both at the home and in the arcade. I gave my heart to them. I have owned most of their consoles. I loved and loved and Sega never let me down.

Well, not quite. The Saturn was a tough time. The 32X seemed like they were taking the piss, quite frankly.

Then they died with the Dreamcast and we mourned.

Then something came back called Sega but it wasn’t any Sega I knew. This Sega hated me.

This is the only was I can explain every Sonic game since Sonic Adventures 2. All those friends of Sonic? Punishment. Plain and simple. Punishment for buying a PlayStation. Punishment for people not buying a Dreamcast until they were all in the bargain bin and it was too late.

I can take this. I understand why they would hate us. We abandoned them for a flashy new model.

But Sega All Star Racing?

They’ve crossed a line.

Sega has an amazing back catalogue. Panzer Dragoon, Jet Set Radio, Shenmue, Space Channel 5, Outrun, it goes on and on. So how do Sega decide is the best way to serve this amazing slice of video game royalty?

A kart game. A goddam kart game.

It’s a slap in the face. A kick in the nuts. A tweak of the nipple.

It’s not fun. On any level. Mario Kart works within the world of the Mushroom Kingdom. Duct taping Sonic and Akira from Virtua Fighter together does not work either visually, thematically or in any sane world. It just doesn’t work.

But that isn’t the worst thing. Not by a long shot.

Ryo Hazuki.

To a certain section of the videogame audience, that name will bring tears of joy. Misty eyed memories of more innocent times when analogue sticks were new and Japan ruled all it surveyed. His adventures were unlike anything we had experienced, his need for revenge burned in our hearts just as fierce.

Shenmue was it’s name and it’s written into the DNA of a generation.

Then it was gone. The games didn’t sell enough, they cost too much so they were taken away from us. The story unfinished.

It passed into legend, always rumoured, the third game that would complete our souls.

Then we found out that Ryo was to return to us.

Driving a motorbike in a kart game.

No. No no no no no. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. Not by a long shot.

Sega knows this. They must hate us because of what happened to the Dreamcast. It’s the only explanation. Nothing else can explain the choices made in this game. All those people who want to see a new Space Channel game? Well, Ulala is in this game as is a character from Jet Set Radio. It’s all our prayers answered in one basket!

Sigh.

Sega, on behalf of video gamers everywhere, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t buy enough Saturn games. I’m sorry I bought a PlayStation. I’m sorry I didn’t buy a 32X. I bought a Mega-CD, wasn’t that enough? I’m sorry. Please forgive us. And don’t make anymore kart games.

Please.

Here’s to you, Dreamcast

23 Wednesday Sep 2009

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The 9/9/09 is a packed day this year. We have Beatles Rock Band, my son’s birthday and the 10 year anniversary of the release of the Dreamcast.

The overriding feeling I get when I think back to those days was optimism. Everyone was hoping that the games would look as good as they said they would. Hoping that this really was the start of something new.

Hoping that Sega would get things right this time.

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Boo!

22 Wednesday Oct 2008

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No one has died but the game I’m most looking forward to has been delayed, only by a week or so but it’s enough goddamnit.

I managed to get into the Beta which was very fun. It looks on the surface to be a pretty straight forward 2D platformer. Which is pretty much is. But the imagination and the craft in the game is immense and really draws you in.

<The main character, Sackboy, should conquer the world. When you controlling him, if you press Up on the D-pad he’ll smile, press it again and he’ll smile more. Press it a third time and he does a huge goofy grin and his tongue flops out. I only mention this becuase it made my 4 year old son laugh hysterically when he saw it. Now he loves Sackboy.

Thank God you can get these in time for Christmas.

I got into the Beta quite late so I didn’t get too deep in the level creator. This is absurdly powerful, enabling you to create pretty much anything in the game. One particular user created level I played was a Ninja Warrior level. I love Ninja Warrior.

But this doesn’t matter as the Beta has finished and the game has been delayed so I can’t play it anymore which makes me sad.

Boo!

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